Grieving a Loss While Pursuing Her Dream: Jennifer’s Road To Clarity In Her Own Words

When deciding whether to become a parent or live childfree, each person's journey is different.

I'm a Parenthood Clarity Mentor with more than 30 years of experience and creator of Motherhood Clarity™ Course and Fatherhood Clarity™ Course, 3-month programs that take people through a proven decision-making process so they can choose with confidence.

People often ask me, "At the end of your course, how many people choose to become parents and how many choose to live childfree?"

They're sometimes surprised to hear that I don't track people's decisions.

What I care about most is my students' inner calm, their self-esteem, their sense of direction, and their ability to move forward.

I always invite my former students to reach out to me with updates. Sometimes I get a picture of their baby, or their dog, or where they’re traveling.

Life is better when more people feel good about who they are, have a genuine sense of worth, and the confidence to set healthy boundaries. 

This is what matters to me.

I created the Parenthood Clarity Courses (among other offerings you can read about below) to help people move forward with clarity and confidence, regardless of their ultimate decision.

Here’s an email exchange I had with Jennifer, a student in both my Is Parenthood for You? weekend workshop and my 3-month Motherhood Clarity™ Course, Fatherhood Clarity™ Course.

(Some details have been changed for her privacy. )

Hi Ann,

I hope you’re well and continuing your valuable work.  I just wanted to give you an update — I’m pregnant and due at the end of the summer!  It took me about a year to get the process and paperwork sorted. 

I'm also in the process of buying a new house to better accommodate my family in the long term. 

I’m happy and feel a great relief in moving forward.  

I do still have grief about not having a partner right now, but feel supported by my community and family. The deep anxiety I had about whether I would ever move forward with trying to have a child is gone. 

I'm proud of myself for taking these steps.  It feels right.  

Thank you, as always, for the support you provided in getting me here. 

Jennifer

Dear Jennifer,

You’re welcome! My complete pleasure. This is such great news. So glad you’re moving forward in the face of still grieving what your original dream was. 

You’re brave to do so. I hope you can feel proud of yourself. You will continue to heal the loss of your dream while also embracing and going after what you want for yourself. 

I know you wanted to be partnered by now. I hope for you that the partnership will come eventually, even if it is not the order you had hoped for.

Feel free to reach out for a drop-in session if you’d like, to help with the grieving process. 

One can grieve a loss while also pursuing their dream. 

Wishing you all the best,

Ann

I’m so thrilled for Jennifer — I’m always honored to read letters like hers! 

I want this same clarity for you. You have the power to reach your deepest truth and believe in your power to act on it.

Here’s how you can uncover your inner truth and discover what’s right for you:

• Access these Free Resources
• Read the book I co-wrote with Denise L. Carlini, Motherhood-Is It For Me?
• Explore one of my upcoming courses — Motherhood Clarity™ Course, Fatherhood Clarity™ Course, or the Parenthood Clarity™ Private Course.
• Move through my popular Weekend Workshop, Is Parenthood for You? at your own pace — it’s now available as a 5-Part Digital Workshop (more than 6.5  hours of teaching!)