Seeking Clarity: A New Interview SeriesAug 21, 2017
I am happy today to premiere a new series, Seeking Clarity: Interviews with Women Who Sought and Found Their Answer to the Motherhood Question. Recently, I began asking clients why they signed up for the Motherhood Clarity Course, and I was astonished by the variety of answers. People come to the course from a variety of backgrounds with a variety of experiences and understandings. These powerful women have allowed me to share their stories with you.
You may or may not see yourself reflected in these stories, which I will be posting individually over the next several months. Regardless, I believe you will find it easy to empathize with each woman's particular challenges and conclusions. You may also find new insight into your own situation. What I enjoy about my Online Group Motherhood Clarity Course is the opportunity for the women to learn from each other. I believe our first clarity seeker has wonderful insights to share with you. Please read on...
Why did you take the Online Group Motherhood Clarity Course (MCC)?
My husband always knew he didn't want kids and I never felt strongly about it so I thought I’d be okay to go along with his desire. At some point, I started thinking that I might want to be a mother, which caused a lot of friction in our relationship. We had frequent heated discussions that left us both feeling hurt, angry, and uncertain about the future. I reached out to Ann to help me figure out what I really wanted, which would help me approach my husband with greater clarity.
What were you hoping would happen by taking the MCC?
I was hoping I would come to a better understanding of whether I really wanted kids or not. I wasn't sure if I would leave the course with a clear "outcome" (Yes or No to having kids), but I needed the space and time and guidance to reflect on my desires.
What surprised you most or what was most helpful about the MCC?
I was surprised by how much my conflicted relationship with my mother was impacting my decision on becoming a mom myself. This raised a lot of unresolved areas that I needed to work through, during and after the course. Most helpful was Ann's guidance in the one-to-one private calls included in the course and the group calls on how to think about these feelings that were coming up, acknowledging that they were actually totally relevant to my decision, not just an aside. Hearing other's experiences and thought processes helped me flesh out my own thinking.
Where did you end up and were you satisfied with the course?
I ended up with a greater depth of understanding on how I'm feeling about becoming a mom. It allowed me to process a lot of my own feelings, so subsequent conversations with my husband have been much less heated because I am less defensive and less unsure of my position. We are still thinking and talking about it, but are in a better position to do so now than before the course.
Would you recommend this course to others and why?
Absolutely, and I already have recommended it to several people. It's such a valuable opportunity to check in with ourselves on how we're truly feeling, separate from other people's expectations and hopes and fears. It's still a taboo subject and hard to talk about with friends and family, so having access to a group of women who are all wrestling with it was so helpful.
What would you tell a woman who is struggling with not knowing or struggling to decide?
Take your time and space to tune in and explore your own desires. It may not be as easy or straightforward as you'd like, but in the process, you'll learn more about yourself and develop a greater ability to listen to your inner voice - which is helpful in any situation.