People Tell Me I’ll “Just Know.”
Jan 26, 2024
But Will I Regret Not Having Kids?
“I’m scared of picking the wrong path.”
— Elle Hunt, freelance journalist
Elle describes herself as a thirty-something woman who’ll struggle with the question of whether to have children until, as she puts it “the train leaves the station for good.”
A fertility doctor once told her, “If you think about it, women have to get almost all their life events into a period of about 15 years: career, having children.”
Meanwhile, time keeps passing.
So where can women — and men — who are struggling with whether to have children turn for clarity? Elle consulted many experts, and Ann Davidman, MFT and Parenthood Clarity Mentor of more than 30 years, was among them.
When you’re clear about your decision, you can live without regret, Ann explained to Elle. While it’s understandable to fear choosing the wrong path, when you’re clear on your reasoning you “don’t just sleepwalk into it.”
Perhaps counterintuitively, Ann says that consulting too many other people about your decision can add to your confusion. Despite the growing awareness surrounding family planning, fertility, and the childfree movements, discussing these topics remains challenging.
In the past, Ann would often counsel individuals in their late 30s or early 40s, but nowadays, she encounters people in their early 30s or even their 20s. One constant is that people still express feeling alone as they tell her, "I thought I was the only one who didn't know."
What else did Elle discover about her parenthood dilemma while talking to Ann and other experts in the field?
You can learn more about joining Ann for her Motherhood Clarity Course or Fatherhood Clarity Course, a safe space where conflict and ambivalence are not only accepted but normalized as a rite of passage to self-acceptance and clarity.