Why I Don’t Work With Couples as a Parenthood Clarity MentorDec 29, 2023
After working as a Parenthood Clarity Mentor for 30 years, the first thing I tell people who contact me is that they’re not alone in feeling unsure about whether to become a parent.
I let them know I’m happy to help them think about how to move forward so they can make a decision that feels right for them.
Over the years, I’ve noticed that some people are surprised to find that when they’re struggling to decide whether to become a parent, I treat it not as a couple’s issue, but as an individual one.
When both you and your partner have clarity about what you want from the inside out — and understand why it’s what you want — decision-making conversations between the two of you is much easier to navigate.
Each of you deserves your own private, uncensored process to discover your own truth.
The goal is not for your desire and decision to be the same, but to understand the why behind each. When you understand your true desire, you have more options when it comes time to make a decision.
I’ve worked with both people in a couple simultaneously as well as only
one person in the couple.
Ultimately, you’ll decide together. Yet, before a productive conversation can
occur, at least one of you (preferably both of you) needs to be clear on your true desire, rather than bending to outside pressures about what you should want.
During my 30-minute Discovery Sessions, I prefer to talk with one person in the couple; the one who feels most ambivalent. If you and your partner each feel ambivalent, then you can each make an appointment with me.
Another option is to read the book, Motherhood-Is It For Me? and work through the program on your own. Don’t be fooled by the title! Men read this book as well and change the pronouns. The program is laid out in great detail. You can also download the 13 guided visualizations presented in the book for free here.
No matter where you or your partner are on your journey, I’m here to support you in making a decision you feel good about, once and for all.