"At the age of 42, I felt an intense amount of pressure to make a decision..."

motherhood motherhood clarity course seeking clarity Sep 25, 2017

Sometimes the clarity that one achieves is different than what they expected it would be.

At the conclusion of the four-month Motherhood Clarity Course, women don’t always have the clarity of their desire enough to make a decision about whether to become mothers or live childfree lives. But they do end up knowing what their next step needs to be to move closer to a decision. That next step can be to seek additional help for other underlying issues, take a closer look at their family situation, or face that a relationship has gotten in the way of discovering their truth.

Today, I continue the series, Seeking Clarity: Interviews with Women Who Sought and Found Their Answer to the Motherhood Question after checking in with a woman to see how she was faring since the course ended almost two years ago. She said:

 “I’m doing well and although I’ve still not had an 'aha' moment, I’m okay with that right now. Since the course, I've joined a 12-step program, which is super helpful and supportive and I feel it is already impacting me in many positive ways.”

Please read on... 

Why did you reach out to Ann Davidman, Motherhood Clarity Mentor, for help?

I reached out because I was struggling daily with feeling like I needed to make a decision about whether I wanted to have a baby. I was in a lot of emotional turmoil about the fact that I felt so uncertain and had so many mixed feelings. At the age of 42, I felt an intense amount of pressure to make a decision, along with the knowledge that it likely might already be too late for me anyway to have a biological child. I had a lot of fear around making the wrong decision, or waiting too long and missing out and being left with regret.

What were you hoping would happen by taking the Motherhood Clarity Course?

That I would have an 'aha' moment and feel 100 percent certain about my path forward.

What surprised you most or what was most helpful about taking the course?

That I instantly felt better just by being part of a community of other women who were struggling with the same kinds of feelings. That my own feelings about motherhood were so wrapped up in my relationship with my own mother (and father), events from my childhood, and that I could heal some of those things. 

Where did you end up and were you satisfied with the course?

I ended up much more comfortable with my uncertainty. I feel better now that my life can be great either way. I am still not in a relationship that I feel would be the right one in which to become a parent. I continue to work through my own feelings and experiences and trust that I will be okay either way.

Would you recommend this course to others and why?

Yes, because it will open your eyes to many factors that may be affecting your ability to make a decision. You’ll feel supported by Ann and the community.
What would you tell a woman who is struggling with not knowing or struggling to decide about motherhood? 

It’s okay to “not know.” Or to have mixed feelings. You are not alone. Your life can be great either way.