fatherhood motherhood parenthood resources Oct 04, 2016

I recently had the pleasure of musing over Edward Ruscha’s 1982 Indecision, which hangs in the Menil Collection Museum in Houston, Texas. The color drew me in right away and then I was mesmerized by the words on the canvas. There was a sense of space and spaciousness. How lovely to be able to muse and daydream and ponder with enjoyment.

There was no outcome to be had. My "in the moment" experience was about musing over the painting and the words. But because I’ve been working with women for 25 years to help them get out of indecision, my second thought was, “What if indecision could be that relaxed and pleasurable? What if musing over 'What will I do?' could be in and of itself an enjoyable experience?” I would want that for women who feel tortured by indecision, who feel broken because society has told them they should just know whether or not they want to be a mom.

I would love it if the women who are trying to decide whether or not to have children could be relaxed and enjoy pondering their next step. It would be wonderful if they could let their minds wander with relaxed anticipation of what the outcome will be, knowing that a decision does not have to happen in that moment.

It’s rarely this way because there’s so much focus on making the "right" decision. No one wants to make the "wrong" decision, as if there is one. And of course what I hear all the time is the fear of regret of making the "wrong" decision.

There is the decision that is truthful for you. Whether it’s right or not is entirely up to you. You are the only judge of that.

It was a pleasure to stare at the words spread out over the canvas. I would love to help you have that same experience as you explore your thoughts about whether or not to be a mother, to help you have room to breathe and the confidence that your truth will surface from the inside out.