Feeling Stuck About Whether to Become a Parent?
Feb 10, 2024
Shame & Self-Sabotage Might Be to Blame
Did you know your decision-making process can be knocked off-course by the twin perils of shame and self-sabotage?
Ann Davidman, Parenthood Clarity Mentor of more than 30 years, sees it all the time in her clients and students.
We all experience and suffer from shame to some degree — and it often carries the toxic message I don’t matter or I’m inherently bad. This kind of shame can distort your perspective on just about everything, including whether or not you want to become a parent.
Identifying shame is often tricky because it’s so closely tied to other emotions. When shame binds to anger, fear, or disappointment, you have to tease out each of the emotions, separating them so you can heal.
Still trying to figure out whether shame is a component of your complex emotions? Ask yourself if there’s anything you feel like you can’t share with those you love and trust the most. If the answer is yes, you’re likely carrying some shame that needs to be unearthed and addressed.
Self-sabotage is another common obstacle to making conscious decisions for the betterment of your life.
It sounds strange at first— why would anyone want to destroy their own ability to make decisions? And because self-sabotage is an unconscious act, it’s hard to recognize.
There’s a part of your psyche that responds to crisis and difficulty — including the process of making life-changing decisions — that developed when you were a child. This means your instinctive coping strategies likely aren’t informed by the knowledge and experience that comes later in life. Instead, they’re leftover protective mechanisms you won’t need in most adult situations.
You don’t need any unnecessary obstacles in your way when you’re deciding whether to become a parent. Shame and self-sabotage can not only slow you down but stop you in your tracks.
When you join Ann for her Motherhood Clarity Course and Fatherhood Clarity Course. you’ll move through her step-by-step clarity process, saving crucial time that can be better spent deciding what you truly desire, with your heart wide open.
Sign up for our waitlist to get notified when the next course opens.