Ann Discusses Difficulty of Motherhood Indecision with ABC Australia

abc news article australia book motherhood motherhood clarity course parenthood resources tools Jan 13, 2020

I really enjoyed speaking to Kellie Scott of ABC Life Australia, who introduced me to a new term: “baby-curious.”

There can be so many negative terms associated with the journey if a woman is unsure whether or not she wants to be a mother, and Kellie expresses some of them: “paralyzed,” “torment,” “limbo.”

I encourage women who read my book or work with me in my role as a Motherhood Clarity Mentor to try to relax into their indecision, at least for a time. “Baby-curious” is the kind of term that encourages that ease. An easy mind is where clarity about important decisions can be found.

Below is an excerpt and a link to Kellie’s full article: 

Deciding whether to have kids or not is hard,
but there is a way forward

By Kellie Scott

I struggled with how to start this story, and maybe it's no surprise given I'm paralysed by the very thing it's about: whether or not to have a baby.

As friends welcome newborns, deal with infertility or proudly announce they want to live childfree, I wonder… how do they know?

I'm baby-curious, if you like. But what once felt like the freedom of choice has at 34 become something I worry about every day.

It's been a relatively private torment until I started hearing from other women experiencing the same anxiety of indecision while writing about people who are childfree by choice.

"There are a lot of people who are undecided, but there is not a lot of permission to speak those words," says Ann Davidman, a marriage and family therapist from California who has been helping men and women make a call about parenthood since the '90s.

"People will say they feel tortured by not knowing and not knowing how to move forward when it appears everyone else seems to just know."

I am still in limbo despite lots of soul searching, Deep and Meaningfuls with my partner, quizzing mum friends, and reading plenty of books and articles.

But I did learn a thing or two from speaking to Ms Davidman and a perinatal psychologist about the ways you can move forward when you're unsure. (Click to continue reading.)