Ambivalence About Whether to Become a Parent Can Be Healthy

Feb 24, 2024

Some people love children but don’t necessarily want to have them or parent them.

Unable to resolve the tension between these two polarities, they remain in a prolonged state of ambivalence. 

Others avoid making a decision until one day they realize they’re too old to have a biological child. The choice not to have a child is made for them, by default.

Or, sometimes, people remain ambivalent to avoid facing grief and other people’s reactions to their decisions. 

Sustained, unhealthy ambivalence can stand in the way of your ability to move forward in your life. Unhealthy ambivalence ties up energy. It’s immobilizing. It causes pain. 

Yet, ambivalence is not necessarily unhealthy, says Ann Davidman, Parenthood Clarity Mentor of more than 30 years.

A healthy form of ambivalence doesn’t render you immobilized; rather it’s characterized by curiosity and the ability to sustain the uncertainty of not knowing without stress or judgment. 

Healthy ambivalence means you’re in touch with how you feel, including negative feelings, and you aren’t overly afraid of those feelings. You’re not overwhelmed…

Without any self-judgment, consider the role ambivalence has played in your struggle to decide whether to become a parent. Has it served you in any way?

In the Motherhood Clarity Course and Fatherhood Clarity Course, Ann will guide you through her proven step-by-step decision-making method to help you work through any unhealthy ambivalence to uncover your inner truth and discover what’s right for you.

Sign up for our waitlist to get notified when the next course opens.