What did you appreciate most about the Motherhood Clarity Course™?
"What didn’t I appreciate!?! I loved the structure of the class/group, the homework (loved loved loved the homework, so rich if you delved into it), and the comprehensiveness of diving in, looking at the uncomfortable, subconscious, deep layers, while sharing and being raw and vulnerable and real, in a safe and supportive environment. I loved the variety of approaches to poking at the subconscious: visualizations, writings, and other exercises. It was perfect for me!"
What did you learn about yourself by participating in the course?
"I learned that I’ve spent my life avoiding disappointment and that this has had a lot to do with my ambiguity around having a baby. By avoiding disappointment, I have lived a very limited and 'fine' life. This was kind of shocking and sad to realize. I also learned that I haven’t allowed myself to spend much time in the realm of desire. During this class was the first time I’ve really allowed myself, knowingly, to experience desire and not get scared away by fear. I learned that I do in fact have desires."
“I feel lucky and grateful to have participated in this program.
I loved what I got out of it and recommend it to those in similar situations."
- H.B. Northern California, 2013
"I would recommend the Motherhood Clarity Course in a heartbeat! I struggled for many years with the decision around motherhood. It wasn't until I met Ann that I got the clarity and confidence to move forward. Through a series of exercises and conversations I learned about myself and the assumptions I (and others) were making about what motherhood would mean for me. It scares me to think our paths may not have crossed. Thank you.
My update is that I am 10-weeks pregnant and planning to adopt number 2 :-). I’m very happy.”
- O.B. NY, NY, USA ~ 2014
Update as of 2017: I’m pregnant with #2 and plan on adopting #3.
“I found out about the Motherhood Clarity Course from a friend and I was so relieved to know I wasn’t alone in my ambivalence about motherhood! Each session provided me with a safe place to explore the full range of my feelings and fears. While I’d spent years contemplating this life-changing decision, the MCC helped me uncover what was getting in the way of my ability to hear my own ‘yes’ or ‘no’ about parenthood. While I didn’t make my decision right away, I did have a new way of relating to my ambivalence. The course helped me learn how to live into my questions in a very deep way. Even while I was suffering and confused, I had more lucidity about my struggle and that made a huge difference. My husband participated in the Fatherhood Clarity group, which was a great boon to our marriage. The shared experiences and common language helped us communicate about our perspectives on parenthood. Ultimately, we used documents Ann gave us in order to share our individual desires and decisions about parenthood.
About a year after completing the course, my husband and I decided to have a child, and we now have a beautiful, happy, curly-headed 9-month old son who totally delights us. Doing the internal work to get as clear as possible about motherhood is a gift I’ll always be grateful that I gave to myself, to my husband, and to our son.”
- Mariah Howard and Clay Stockton, Oakland, CA, USA ~ Mariah 2012, Clay 2014
“I valued the program very much. I learned how much I wanted to be a mother like my mother and grandmother were to me, and that I was punishing myself, thinking I could not be a mom, because it could never look like what they gave me. I came to terms with the generational difference, the cultural difference, all of it. And I realized that just because I am getting started at 43, it's OK and I don’t have to deny myself motherhood.
I also came to understand fully why I was in the pain I was in, why it was so complicated…that there was nothing wrong with ME. I learned that I can cherish my own life and my life with my partner, no matter what. It's NOT dependent on if we have a child. Learning that every decision comes with costs/regrets/loss - was a huge relief.”
- East Coast, USA, 2013
“This course allowed me to revolutionize many of assumptions I had about myself. Ann cleverly lead us in a way that provided a depth and breadth, without agenda for answering one way or the other, that I deeply appreciated and found both disarming and inviting.
I started the course being afraid and closed and ended surprisingly opened and accepting in ways I'd never imagined possible - and not just on the topic of kids or not. I highly recommend the course whether you think you ‘know’ or you don’t know.”
- Dan, Berkeley, CA, USA ~ 2011
“I’ve never exposed myself to sitting around with a group of women that I didn't know and expose myself as much as I did. I tend to be a very private person but I found this group very comforting. This was something I was going to have to take part of and share parts of me in order to move forward in my life.
This was an awesome experience! I felt very teary eyed and very connected to the rest of the women and I wasn't ready for it to end. Thank you for offering and conducting such an awesome platform for women to discuss a topic, which is so hard to discuss normally.”
- Lisa M.
“I read this book as a man questioning himself about fatherhood. The process described in the book was a major gift to my life. I was in a very difficult situation, not knowing whether I wanted children or not. Going through the 12 weeks has brought me 100% of where I stand, and it was a powerful tool to understand more about myself and how my own beliefs might shape my decision.
Deeply and from the bottom of my heart, I thank you Ann for having written this.”
- T., 2018
“The program helped me to understand what had shaped my hesitation throughout my life. I normally never write down my thoughts and doing so in a structured way helped me to articulate and sort through them.
Meeting other women struggling with the same issue was comforting, since I always felt very alone with this before. My partner told me that I became much calmer during the program, which I regarded as the first step of a process. I didn't feel much clearer about a yes or no right after the program and I didn't expect that I would. It had to sink in for a while.
The advice I would give to other ambivalent women is to explore the reasons for their ambivalence and voice them, and to accept that coming up with an answer can be an intense and lengthy process. And sometimes, there may not be a clear answer, and it can't be forced. And most importantly, they are not alone with this ambivalence.”
- H.S., Northern California, USA ~ 2010
“I can’t believe how much my relationship with my mother had to do with this.
Thank you so much Ann. You are so great at what you do!”
- L. B.
“Attending the Motherhood Clarity Course helped me realize that I'm not the only one struggling with this issue and it helped clarify some issues from my childhood that I still needed to work on.
Participating in the group helped me decide to pursue some individual therapy so I could explore these issues and gain further healing. I'm now at the point where I'm almost ready to begin trying to conceive and I'm seeing this as one of life's adventures rather than something to fear.”
“I really valued the time I spent doing the program. It really helped me to relax and
to accept any changes I would need to make in my life if I were to have kids, as my husband wanted to be a parent. Having said that, I made the offer to him that I would be willing to have kids for him and he decided that he really didn't want them anymore. So, we moved and I have gone back to work. I am very happy.”
“Working with Ann was a great experience. If I hadn’t found her program, there’s a good chance I would be divorced or having serious marriage problems right now. It was a relief knowing there was someone out there who wouldn’t just tell me I’d feel differently about having a baby when it was my own, and that there are other women out there whose partners are more baby-crazy than they are.”
- Casey K., Columbus, Georgia USA ~ 2014
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