I was so glad to be contacted by Caitlan Gibson of The Washington Post for this beautifully written article about parenthood-indecision therapists. While I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, I prefer the term Motherhood Clarity Mentor when working in this particular space. I’ve been doing this work for almost 30 years, and I’m so glad it’s finally getting the attention it deserves.
This is one of my favorite paragraphs from the article:
But a motherhood clarity mentor is nothing like the well-intentioned auntie who coos, “Oh, honey, of course you should have a baby,” or the sleep-starved mom friend who sternly warns, “If you’re not totally sure, you better not.” A parental indecision therapist isn’t interested in adding one more voice to the cacophony. She wants you to learn to listen to your own.
Below is an excerpt and a link to the full article:
By Caitlin Gibson
They arrive anxious for an answer. Or maybe, finally, a sense of peace. They arrive because they haven’t been able to resolve the biggest question of their lives: Do I want to be a parent? And so they come to the California therapy practice of Ann Davidman — by plane, by car, by phone — in the hope that the self-titled “motherhood clarity mentor” might deliver an epiphany.
Next comes a simple instruction: Write down every fear, every loaded question, every disapproving comment and every panic-inducing headline that has coalesced into a stranglehold of indecision.
Will my mom be disappointed if I don’t give her a grandchild?
What kind of world will my kid grow up in?
Will I regret it if I don’t have a baby?
Will I regret it if I do have a baby?
Then: “You put them all away in an envelope,” Davidman says. “These are really important issues, but we just don’t want to talk about them right now. When you’re considering all those external factors prematurely without knowing what you want and why you want it, they just get in the way.” (Click to continue reading.)
Unsure Whether You Want to Be a Parent?
Our book Motherhood - Is It For Me? Your Step-by-Step Guide to Clarity can help.