It was wonderful talking with Chanel Dubofsky of HelloFlo.com once again! I spoke to Chanel previously for her article about my Motherhood Clarity Course.
This time around, we discussed what happens when partners have opposing thoughts about having kids, a topic I discuss in my blog "He Wants a Baby. I Don't."
What I stress for couples caught in this situation: Know thyself. You must explore and understand "why" you want what you want in order to share your desires with your partner.
“The more you know yourself, the better. When you talk about this, you should come from a place where your certainty, even if you’re uncertain, comes from a place of consciousness, not reactivity.”
Below is an excerpt and a link to the full article:
by Chanel Dubofsky
It doesn’t have to mean the end of your relationship.
When KC was 21, she started dating a man 6 years older than she was, who had had a vasectomy at age 25, before they met. “I have always wanted children,” she says. “But I wasn’t looking to have a child in my early 20s, so it was what it was for the moment, which made it fun and free.” As time went on, though, and she found herself realizing more about what she wanted from life, she knew it couldn’t continue. ” I started noticing how it bothered me, and ultimately tied me to someone else’s decision. I knew we couldn’t continue on the same path, that it was splitting.”
If you’re in a relationship with someone who wants kids, and you don’t, or the other way around, is a break up inevitable? How do you negotiate what seems like such a fundamental difference?
Ann Davidman is a marriage and family therapist and the co-creator of “Motherhood – Is It For Me?,” a 14 week course aimed at helping women decide whether or not they want to become parents. Davidman says that couples who differ on the subject of children aren’t necessarily doomed...(Click to continue reading.)