Ann Discusses Motherhood Indecision in The New York Times

When The New York Times reached out to me for an article about resources for women who are nervous about becoming parents, I was honored when the reporter called me a "pioneer in the field."

Being a "pioneer" was not on my mind when Denise L. Carlini and I started our first "Motherhood - Is It For Me?" support groups in 1991. It was not what we focused on when we wrote the book Motherhood - Is It For Me? Your Step-by-Step Guide to Clarity. My goal has always been to:

  1. Help women be okay with not knowing if motherhood or a childfree life is for them.

  2. Assist them on the journey to discover their truth.

I'm thrilled that after 27 years, this invisible population of woman who "don't know" is beginning to get visibility. I'm thrilled that there are now multiple resources to help them. 

Below is an excerpt and a link to the full article: 

 Courtesy of  The New York Times /Alexandra Bowman

Courtesy of The New York Times/Alexandra Bowman

Scared to Be a Parent

Fear not — there are books and consultants to help you figure out if you even want a child.

By Hannah Seligson

For most of her 30s, Katie Wilson was pretty certain she did not want children. But at 36, there was a looming sense that her fertility window was closing and a wave of anxiety set in about her and her husband’s once-firm decision to remain child free. 

“I was having panic attacks, and it was this horrible uncertainty to go through,” Ms. Wilson, now 40, said in a phone interview. To gain some peace of mind, she didn’t seek out traditional one-on-one counseling but instead traveled from Washington, D.C., to Cambridge, Mass., to attend a one-day workshop called the Baby Decision, facilitated by Merle Bombardieri, a clinical social worker in Lexington, Mass., and the author of a book on the subject. 

The introspection and exercises led Ms. Wilson back to her original decision to not have a child. “It stopped the swirling, but it made me realize it’s not psychologically unhealthy or rare to have second thoughts about a decision.”... (Click to continue reading.)

 

Motherhood or childfree?

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