We're living in a revolutionary age where more and more women embrace that they have a choice about becoming a mother or living a childfree life. This is great news, but the problem isn’t solved.
Now that you know you have a choice between motherhood or childfree, do you know how to make that choice? Do you assume it’s something that you should inherently know or that will just come to you if you wait long enough?
For some of you, this decision will be easy. You know what you want and know why you want it and know how to make it happen. But for many of you, you don’t know what you want or how to figure it out.
For mindful decision-making, you must be able to explore your desire without pressuring yourself to make a decision. That can feel like a tall order; don’t beat yourself up if mindful decision-making doesn't come easy. You have to be able to look within without considering outside factors. Eventually outside factors come into play, but giving them too much weight prematurely prolongs the process of deciding.
Mindfulness is about looking within, learning more about yourself, and being able to face painful truths. In my Motherhood Clarity Course, I lead women through the mindful decision-making process. They learn to:
- Understand the difference between present-time desires verses triggers rooted in the past.
- Discover how triggers keep you stuck in a longing state making it impossible to move forward.
- Face where it has been difficult to speak your mind.
- Heal past relationships without the involvement of the other person (especially when it comes to your parents).
Mindfulness is about being able to say good-bye to what never got to be and choosing to grieve fully in order to heal. It’s about being honest with yourself about whether you have healthy or unhealthy boundaries. Do you say no when you need to and want to? Are you willing to walk the talk of being mindful? It’s about being truthful with yourself. This is what is involved in discovering your desire about becoming a mother or living a childfree life. Once that is known you take all of that information and entertain a decision, but not one minute sooner.
© 2018 Ann Davidman