Motherhood is one of the most complex roles a person can have. To think there is one scenario to motherhood and how one might feel about it is ludicrous.
There isn’t one way to decide to become a mother.
There isn’t one way to be a mother.
- hate it and do a great job.
- love it and do a lousy job.
- be mediocre at it and your child grows up with high self-esteem.
- become a mother for all the “wrong” reasons and turn out a healthy child.
- become a mother for all the “right” reasons and turn out a child who is filled with angst and low self-esteem.
- regret motherhood and raise a child who feels wanted and loved.
- love motherhood and raise a child who feels unwanted and unworthy of love.
No one gets to decide what's "right" or "wrong" for another mother. The only thing another person would need from you when it comes to motherhood is your compassion. If you aren’t dishing out a healthy dose of compassion, then STOP yourself and take your judgment elsewhere.
I am not a mother but I will stand up for a child not being treated well and I will stand up for a parent who is doing the best they can and being judged for it. Women who struggle with motherhood no matter how that decision came to be deserve compassion and a helping hand. They do not need to be ridiculed or judged. That will not help them or their children.
Let’s make room for women to ask and ponder, "Is motherhood for me?" Give them a compassionate ear. And then, even after a woman becomes a mother, she gets to ask and ponder, "Is this for me?"
Give them space and a compassionate ear.
Humans, young and old, tend to do quite well when listened to and not judged.
Copyright @ 2017 Ann Davidman.